you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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