I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
