just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
