Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
