Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
