Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
