At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
