I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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