Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
