i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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