So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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