I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
