The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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