he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
