I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
