Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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