i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
