His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she told me i tasted like america
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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