she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
