I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
