I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am naked and annoyed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
