this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
