Where is the hickey?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
God, I missed his penis.
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