Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
bring money and cleavage
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
