i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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