Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
