I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
