I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
