So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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