Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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