who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
