They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
