question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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