Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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