I wish my penis had an off switch
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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