Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
