She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
