How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
