Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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