I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
