Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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