Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
