remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
