WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
