Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
