oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
