what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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