i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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