Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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