My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
