Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
