so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
