two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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